Constant cravings or It turned out to be a piece of foil.

UUGGGHHHH....having a craving day. You know those days where you don't know what you want but you just want SOMETHING. I honestly cannot put my finger on it but I can tell you all the things that are peaking my interest and make me say..."hmmmmm, that might be it...maybe I should have that." I can also tell you that not one of them are on my "allowable" snacks or "acceptable" activity.( ps by acceptable activity I mean I am craving a cigerette even though I quit smoking [full time...lol] over a year ago and therefore this is not an acceptable activity. I am also craving me some wine. Not a glass of wine to sip on, I mean I am craving an honest to goodness bottle of wine to sink into "ahhhhhhhh" with. Also not an acceptable activity nor an allowable snack. Lastly, I am craving either a chocolate bar (which is pretty weird since I generally do not eat chocolate bars even before this last week) or the biggest most delicously cheesy plate of nachos you ever did see. WTF? Why? Why tonight is it suddenly so damn hard to just say no? It's not a cheat day, I havn't been lazy today and there is nothing overly stressful or exhausting about today. Why am I suddenly craving the bad stuff so bad its actually making me antsy and distracted. Ooooh look something shiny.....what is that, a nickel? No....i think it's a button. SEE!

 Thank GAWDS I smartly removed all temptation from the house. There is no nachos or chocolate, there is no delicious red wine or cigerettes. Luckily white wine is not holding any kind of appeal to me as I have literally over a dozen bottles of homemade white wine sitting down the hall from me as we speak....er.....as I type. This leads me again to the conclusion that I am not an alcoholic, I am purely a wino......whino....how does one spell that....is it even a proper word.....mmmmmm..wine....dammmmmmit, i did it again.

 I think this is where it starts to get harder because while there is some small results happening, there is quite literally no end in sight. I am apparently going to have to keep this up indefinitely . I am also realizing that since my wine theory (i.e. it's making me fat) is apparently a pretty solid theory, then if i wish to remain my goal wait once I get there, I am going to have to keep this up forever....ok now I want to give up and be fluffy....stupid blog, why cant you talk back...give me some advice.....or chocolate....oh wait I think that is a nickel......eff it, I'm going to bed before I do something stupid.