Thursday, June 7, 2012


This is me....without the guy in the robe
Bless me bloggers for I have sinned,
It's been nearly one month since my last blog and people, I have not been a good girl....ok well wait, back it up. I have not been AWFUL. I just have not been diligent nor smart in my time away.Some of the new things I have learned about weight loss and calories have the fact that one piece of bacon can have upwards of 100 calories in piece, but other promises i made myself have kinda....flew the coop. I blame a few things...#1 me. I am the least consistent person in the world...I am trying to fix that. I am trying not to get distracted by shiny objects. It's a work in progress. Be patient with me. I also blame little league baseball. My son (bragging mom alert) made the Mosquito AAA team ( GO BUDDY GO) and since then I have been travelling and meeting and hauling and working to try to pay for all this travelling and hauling. On the road equals non healthy eating and no time or energy for exercise. I have implemented a new exercise regime, which kicks my butt btw, and doesn't take that long. I don't know if the claims are verified but I will post the "Pinterest" pin that led me to  this workout. I do one round of it, some weights, some ab work some lunges and squats (ugh) and then another round. By that time I am begging for death and sweating in places i didn't know sweated....did you know your knee caps and earlobes can sweat....I didn't. I attribute the lack of weight gain during my bad eating time to this workout and therefore intend on keeping it up. The last culprit of my bad girl month is the warm weather, which reminds me of clinking ice cubes, which reminded me of how much I love me a gin and tonic in the evening. I drink diet tonic so this should be fine....right. MOPE. One or two of these reminds me that I also like snacks in the evening, which leads me into pressuring my husband into making me something delicious, which leads to me eating and drinking between 300 to 1000 calories extra RIGHT BEFORE BED!!!! GAWD JESSICA!!! You know better. So anyway, the fact of the matter is I am getting back on track which means becoming accountable again, which means you shall be seeing much more of me soon....I hope. No you will, I promise....oh shit I promised, now I have to.
Up to date, here is my results.

Since my last blog 3 and a half weeks ago, I have lost 2 lbs and one inch of my boobs. That's it. No other losses, no other gains....just smaller boobies and a few pounds gone....sigh. I'll see you in a week.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

I'm late, I'm late....or...I think I can I think I can....

Look it's me after hour 11....NOT!
So techinically it's Tursday but in my defense I worked a 12 hour waitressing shift yesterday and could seriously give a s**t about blogging my results this week. Not that they are terrible, they are completely acceptable, just not important enough to take time away from know....not being at work, to share....but it's all good. I'm here...I'm updating...god get off my back. I like to pretend that you are all (both of you) waiting with baited breath for my every update. It makes me feel important...just let me have this ok?
So this week I kept up with the cardio...and it losses on the upper half but stuff happening down below. Hmmmm....that doesn't sound good. Let's rephrase that. Stuffs going down, below the belt. Nope, that is sooooo not better. Let's just get to the numbers shall we.
Weight; -1 lb for a grand total of 11.5 lbs. Love it.
Chest and Waist....nothing. Sigh....I mean yay about the ladies....but i need some losses "in ma bell-ay"....make sure you read that with a scottish accent.
Hips: - 1 inch....woot to the mutha effin woot....bout time,
Tushy: - 1 too. Get gone would ya....but not too much. My baby likes a lil junk in my trunk....
Thighs: -1 inch. Yup....soon there will be daylight happening between them.

Me while working out....also NOT! My
track suit is purple....
All in all...good stuff....good stuff. Not great....but good. My research goal this week is toning excercises, targeting certain spots....specifically, my inner thighs which still smoosh together and I fear are going to cause a fire if I wear courderoys, purely from the way they rub .Secondly my bat wings or "bingo arms" as one co-worker so kindly called them. I wanna lose those....they are yucky. As I lose weight, they appear to be getting saggy-er...muscle on top....flap flap flappin in the breeze on the bottom. Next week I might (MIGHT) start posting body pics.....or I might wuss out and put amusing cartoon pictures of people working out....who knows.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Green Tea, where have you been all my life?

So I have been claiming for 2 weeks now that I was gonna look into this Green Tea stuff, and I have been, i just wanted to make sure I had a well rounded and honest perspective on this stuff because quite frankly Green Tea sounded too good to be true. But guess what's not. It's true.
So lets break it down Jessica style so we can all understand the big words together.....mmmmkay.

It just looks zen...doesn't it?
The Benefits:
  • Green tea has been purported to reduce the risk of certain cancers ( skin, breast, lung, colon and esophageal to name a few)
  • assist in treating rheumatoid arthritis
  • lower cholesterol
  • reduce the risk of cardiovascular disease
  • fight infection
  • prevent tooth decay
  • aid in weight loss
  • save children from a burning building

OK that last one might not be (definitely is not) true, however technically I'm sure if you had enough green tea, you could probably put the fire out long enough to get the kids out....just sayin.

Anyway, so those are just some of the claims Green Tea drinking has made. There are more but they get ridiculous after awhile. But here's the thing guys, all have been proven...true story.

How does it work?
Green tea contains this wonderful thing called catechin polyphenols, particularly epigallocatechin gallate (EGCG). I love these unpronounceable words that sound so damn important. So this EGCG stuff is a powerful anti-oxidant and as we all know anti-oxidants do good things, like  inhibiting the growth of cancer cells and killing cancer cells without harming healthy tissue. It's a cancer hit man that knows how to avoid civilians....we like this.

Green tea works different then black teas and most others because of the way it is prepared.
Green tea leaves are steamed, which prevents the EGCG compound from being oxidized unlike other teas which are fermented before being made into a tea.
Plus there is ALL kinds of scientific studies. So many little rats are now walking around ass-cancer free thanks to the miracles of green tea.As for the infection fighting and tooth decay helping, green tea has bacteria fighting components in it that can aid in killing mouth bacteria and even helping to prevent food poisoning...WHOO HOO i can go back to eating at Greasy Sals!
On to weight loss....well the jury is kinda out on that one....but not really. See anti-oxidants and caffeine are both proven to assist in weigh loss to an extent. The polyphenols mixed with the caffeine induce thermogenesis which in turn boosts your metabolic rate...but only slightly (like 4%) That is to say it will assist somewhat(about 70 to 80 extra calories burned a day) but if you were expecting the pounds to melt away without doing anything else, you wold be one very disappointed tea drinker. It works out to about 8 lbs a year you would burn...and i thought my process was taking awhile.

In my research i discovered other neat little things that green tea can do for you, such as studies are being done to prove it's effectiveness on people with depression and German doctors have been using a green tea solution on people with skin damage from radiation treatments and it has been showing positive results. Also it's apparently good for tightening your gums (i had no idea loose gums were a problem) and hair strengthening and possibly most importantly as a de-intoxifier (drink it the morning after and it will help with a hangover). There isn't nearly as much proof on this stuff as the others but hell, since you are already drinking it now, look at all the other good stuff!

The Negative Side
There isn't one....not really. There is a few concerns about caffeine overdose, but
green tea contains less caffeine than coffee about thirty to sixty mg of caffeine in green tea to 100 mg in coffee. Also there is some proof that green tea can get in the way of some mineral and medication absorbtion (mainly iron) so it isn't reccomended for anemic people and it is suggested that you do not take it within 2 hrs of certain medicines...but some medicines you cant have milk either so.....It's also not reccomended for pregnant women because of the caffeine and the risk of neural tube birh defects...i dunno what those are, but like everything else good in the world, avoid green tea until after the baby comes out.
My only real problem with all this is the fact that for any of these benefits to happen, you need to drink a minumum of 4 cups a day, preferrably 5 or 6 with some studies suggesting upwards of 10. 10 cups a day? where are you people finding the time to brew 10 cups a day? Especially considering how many trips to the bathroom you must be making. Also, I dont love the taste...It's not awful but it's not wonderful either. ButI am working on it....hopefully i will find my perfect brew.
How to take it.

Well, it's like this. For maximum benefits, you need to actually drink the tea. Some supplements and capsules are good but you have to really look into it. Some have uneccesary ingrediants, some don't have enough extract, some haven't extracted it right....when buying green tea in capsule form check the ingrediants, mainly looking for alot of unnatural ingrediants, pretty much anything ending in the word -ose (sugars) and you want a high level of catechins. Over 60 mg for sure, aim for 70-90 mg for maximum benefits. Same goes for the tea bags. You are gonna start losing effectiveness once processing starts occurring. Opt for loose green tea (bulk barn has it and its cheap too) and avoid the flavored stuff. Brew a cup of hot but not boiling water pour it over the tea bag or leaves and let it steep for about 3 min and take the bag out. Scientists found that  milk proteins called caseins decrease the catechins in the tea so therefore to reap any of the benefits, it's gotta be milk and cream free. If possible use honey instead of sugar to sweeten it, especially over white sugar. White sugar is evil and should be avoided at all costs....that is an blog for another day Honey has a whole slew of health benefits that I will DEFINITELY blog on in the near future. Sit back, relax and enjoy your tenth cup of tea today. Oh and one last thing...the iced green teas you can buy in the stores usually contain about 1/8 of the good stuff so read your labels...if it's full of fake sugars and low levels of catechins, your better off grabbing a water.
That's it for now folks. Happy Tea Drinking

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

A Perfect 10 (and a half) or Boys Suck

Pretend that's me
It is Wednesday (for those of you who didn't know) which means its weigh in day....YAY. I actually have some good news this week but i have contracted some sort of Ebola or possibly a or the other..... and therefore am so not my usual animated self. You may be able to tell by the lack of capitol letters I am using (not using) and there will be much less exclamation marks....but rest assured I am excited and happy......wheeeeeeee.
Ok so, the increased cardio is happening for real. I feel much more confident that I am burning fat when the sweat is pooling in my bra like my own personal (and disgusting) hot tub. I am learning to hate it less, but I cannot love it...not yet. Give me some more time and we shall talk. Unfortunately with this cold(Ebola) i am avoiding any kind of heart pumping activities because they make me cough to the point of puking...not fun. (though probably good for the weight loss) so today was a no go but with luck, my lungs will be back to themselves soon. My husband hopes so too...wink.
Anyway, the results are in. The audience has voted and the computer has tabulated that:
Weight: -2.5 lbs....for a grand total of -10.5 lbs. Whoo hoo!
There was literally NO changes anywhere else this week, but I have a sneaking suspicion that in about 3 or 4 days that will change, as well my mood will improve, my cravings for salt and chocolate will decrease and I will be making a trip to the drugstore for feminine that point maybe the water retention will disappear and there will be some more losses to report....i just happy that I broke the 10 lb mark officially...that's good sh*t.
This is also me....but with less facial hair
So as the title suggests, boys suck....and here's why. Last week my loving husband commented on my weight loss and stamina/sticktoitness and told me how proud he was and impressed and all that jazz. (he's a keeper) Then the sweetheart tells me that I have inspired him to kick up his regime (which he doesn't have) and start eating healthier etc. Today he tells me proudly that he has lost about 5 to 7 lbs....this week. I proceeded to punch him in the face and finish my salad. Ok so i didn't punch him....but man I wanted to ....5 to 7 a week....of doing ....what? Walking a little more at lunch and drinking more water and less beer.....are you effing kidding me? So that is why boys suck. Because apparently they just have to think about losing weight and it melts right off of them....soooooo not fair.

Ok it's time for neocitrin and my bed. I will keep you posted though....not on my husbands weight loss....just mine. He can start his own damn blog.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Time to kick it up a notch or PLATEAU OH NO!

Le sigh. Hi ya''s that time again. After last weeks pound triumph I had hoped that I would be able to bring you more excitement and losses....Alas I am not. Don't get me wrong, I don't come bearing bad news....per se. I come news. I lost nothing weight wise...not even a half pound....i lost half an inch off my waist and maybe a half off my hips....but i think that's being generous....I think I may have already reached the dreaded plateau.....
Jillian Micheals....she tell sme what to do and how to do it
So all of my friends who diet, exercise, jump on fad bandwagons, talk about THE PLATEAU. That moment where even though you are doing all the good stuff, nothing is happening. No inches, no pounds...just...flat line.... So what does one do at this point. Some may give up....some may resort to drastic measures (i mean cheesecake or liposuction....both pretty damn drastic.) What are you doing Jess? you may ask....I don't care if you are asking or not, I'm answering the damn question because it's my blog and I will do what I want. So for everyone except that b**ch who doesn't care what I am doing, I have changed it up. I've gotten comfortable with my yoga burn workout and while I still sweat and strain, I'm not pushing myself anymore...and as Jillian Micheal's says just past the halfway point of my workout, "Get comfortable with being uncomfortable!" (it's adorable that my eleven year old will hear this from the other room and be like "You're half way Mom, keep going!" Couldn't you just eat him up.....don't though.....damn cannibals)
Well....I look better in a leotard than these guys.....
So I am kicking it up a notch (as the title of this post would suggest)  by incorporating the Elliptical into my yoga burn routine. I do 100 calories on the elliptical (approx 6 min) then hit up some yoga moves, crunches, then back on the elliptical for another 100-150 calories. Back to some more yoga and crunches then finish with a stretch cool down....this process took about 30 min today and I sweat like a pig but was interrupted before I felt totally drained so I took a break and then hopped back on the elliptical and did the whole thing over again....I blame the vitamins...I was smart and moved the elliptical into the living room and caught up on my favorite shows which was distracting enough that I didn't wish for death the whole time....just part of it. At any rate, I don't know if I can keep up the double work out ( though it would give me an excuse to catch up on all the shows I have been missing) but this is the new plan....I gotta surprise my fat cells. You think you know whats going on lil fat cells.....hahahaha eff you! Imma mess you up good.

Yup....them's fat cells....they scared!

So I'll see ya in a week....maybe sooner if I get that Green Tea research finished. It's been a busy week folks....If someone wants to start paying me for the research I will gladly quit my job and devote all my time to researching whatever the hell you want me to.....any Fine....see ya in a week.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Now that's more like it!...or the Second coming of diet and excercise

This was me this morning...but chunkier.
I say good day to you my readers (both of you). It's weigh in day...and I am in a FAN-EFFING-TASTIC mood. I have no excuses for you, I have no oopsies for you, I have only good news. KICK ASS! Let's get right down to it shall we....

Weight: -3lbs....yup...3 lbs down in one week. Boo-yah! Total loss: 8lbs!
Chest: -(sigh).5 for a total of 3.5 inches lost. My hubby promises me it's not from the ladies but more from the backal (it's a word) area. I choose to take his comments as truth....
waist: -.5 for t total inches lost of 4 inches....schweet
hips: -.5 for a total inches lost of 2.5....I'll take it....but i wish those bi**hes would melt faster
Tookus: -.5 for a total of 3 inches lost....oh no there goes my J-Jo booty....bahahaha
Thighs: -.5 for a total  loss of 3.5...c'mon baby...i wanna see daylight through them soon.

So hellz ya to all that. Pounds and inches down all over, nothing overly strenuous done, same caloric intake as before but with less cheating and same exercise regimes as before but with less breaks....and only one real drinking with the girls night (and Monday night wine night but that doesn't count....nuh it doesn' it doesn't no it doesn't no it doesn't) Anyway i am pleased as freakin punch with this week and it has renewed my hope that this is really the right way to do this....I love it. By my birthday in June I hope to  have lost 20 lbs and about 4 more inches of my waist, 3 off my hips 3 off my but and 2 off my thighs.....and the best part is that this appears to be totally attainable....GO TEAM JESS!!!! I'm still doing major research on the benefits of green tea so hopefully some time this week I will post the results of that too.
This will be me if the pounds keep disappearing....but less square

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Mini Eggs and Gummy Bunnies and weight gain

So I had prepared myself for the worst today because , not gonna lie folks, I had SUCKED at my regime this royally sucked. And it was a long weekend so its not even like there was 2 days of misbehaving and then bam, back on track....nope, I went full throttle bi**hes. Thursday, Girls night in.....major alcohol, major munchies....we are talking like probably double my daily caloric intake in the 4 short hours I was at my girlfriends house. There was a dip that one of the girls made that was so ridiculously fattening she wouldn't even tell us what was in know that's a bad sign.

Meet The B2 Pickler....then cry
Friday night. Well lord knows after Thursday, I was in no mood to work out so pllbbbttt to that and then we had company for my hubby's birthday. Company that we went to dinner with, where I ate one of the biggest burgers ever created....smothered in 2 kinds of cheese and a southwest mayo that should be banned. Did I mention the deep fried pickle spears and two jugs of draft that went with this. But oh no, it didn't stop there. We went back to my place for wine, and cheese and chips and dip and WINGS! WINGS!!! Seriously Jessica?
Saturday I was a good girl. The guilt I felt was tremendous so I ate well, drank lots of water (more out of necessity...2 days of drinking makes a pasty pasty girl) and even hit up the gym at work for some heavy duty treadmill time. Then the Easter Bunny came.
Buffets, Easter dinner, birthday cake, CHEESECAKE and``s everywhere man. I cant stop....i walk into a room and there is chocolate eggs, next room is gummy bunnies, next room is jelly beans....MAKE THE INSANITY STOP. Oh yeah and btw, it`s that time of the month. I didn`t stand a chance folks.
So the results of my weekly weigh in are rough to say the least, down right depressing to say more than the least. It coulda been worse. I coulda fell of the wagon and drank a bottle of wine the whole way down (remember i could still just say eff it, i like being fluffy) but I will not. I will take this bump (giant pothole) in my road with a grain of salt (somebody please explain that expression to me) and carry on my wayward son. Next week, there will be results....positive ones.

So here is is:
Weight: +1.5...sigh
Chest -1.5....thank you mother could have left the ladies alone. Total: -3
waist -.5 (i`ll take it) Total: -3.5
Hips: Nada Total:2
Tushy: Nada Total:2.5
Thighs: Nada Total 3 coulda been worse....shoulda been better, but coulda been worse. I also started a vitamin supplement.It`s called Vital 1 from the superstore, it was about 6.97 for a 3 mth supply and has a bunch of vitamins I could use like iron, c, d, e, b1,2,3,6,12 as well as chromium and green tea. For those of you that read it, chromium is one of the active ingredients in the pink drink and i believe, though didn't research it yet, that green tea supposedly stimulates your metabolism and gives you energy...perhaps that will be my next investigative See ya`ll in a week...wish me luck.

Monday, April 9, 2012

Apple Cider Vinegar and YOU!....and possibly me.

So my post about the pink drink was really well received and it inspired me to follow up with some of these other weight loss methods and see if there was a supplement out there that were worthy of  my (and possibly yours my faithful followers) time, energy and health. Today after a suggestion from a friend I decided to look into Apple Cider Vinegar. I remember years ago when I was a wee teenager, my mother coming home with a bottle of this stuff and some caplets from the health food store. She explained to me at that time that they were to help ease water retention and therefore shed some water weight but then, I made the bad decision to smell the stuff never did make it past my lips. That stuff is NASTY! But I digress, after scanning the Internet for awhile and compiling what I could, here is the results.

The Claims: 

Apple cider vinegar is stated to work as an appetite satieatier (calmer downer in idiot terms) and suppressor of fat accumulation. Claims are also made that it helps with everything from acne to chronic fatigue, from sore throats to arthritis. Hell it'll apparently help you with a good old fashioned case of the gout. My god, why is the whole world not taking this's a miracle I tells ya, a miracle....however,....did ya smell it yet?  "Proponents claim that consuming apple cider vinegar before a meal can help suppress your appetite, speed up your metabolism, prevent bloating and keep your blood sugar in check." (source:

The science behind it:

Acetic acid is a byproduct of the fermentation process that makes apple cider vinegar. Ahhhh fermentation...also makes a good wine......oops, sorry, got distracted, back to the cider (which is no where near as delicious or good smelling as wine....just saying) In studies that found some noticeable weight loss in people and mice (damn fat mice) it was theorized that the acetic acid may prevent the buildup of body fat by activating the genes involved in breaking down fats. It also works to regulate the glucose release, which in turn lowers the amount of insulin released into the blood system. Whats that you say sonny?
Insulin is a big ol' fat storer and therefore if there is excess amounts of insulin, your body will store fat even if you reduce your calories. Acetic acid helps to stop that. We think. Basically, acetic acid switches off the fat storing gene and regulates glucose metabolism. Yay vinegar...oh ya, did I mention that all vinegar has acetic acid...its what makes it sour. Certain vinegars have lower levels and cider vinegar seems to have a higher one. White vinegar has a higher level as well.
Also some studies have indicated an increase in metabolic rate which in turn would burn more calories, as well as the fact that it aids in digestion. The site that stated this didn't offer any proof or studies, but did offer some vague explanation why it might work. If your interested, feel free to visit


Research, we don't need no stinking research...

Mice on diets...?
Uhhhh....ya we do. Back in 2005 there was a study of 12 people that determined that those who ate a piece of bread along with small amounts of white vinegar felt fuller and more satisfied than those who just ate the bread.  Another study was done in 2009, found that obese people who consumed acetic acid daily for 12 weeks experienced significant decreases in body weight, waist circumference, and and abdominal fat. In another test on mice,(because apparently those fat bastards need some help)  they established that acetic acid may help prevent the buildup of body fat and certain liver fats. They did not, btw, specify if it was apple cider vinegar or another kind. There is a surprising amount of various vinegars out there fyi. So there have been studies done, and there have been positive results, however each site that I researched agreed that more studies would have to be done to state that there is an ABSOLUTE link to vinegar and weight loss.

So what's the bad news?

Who would want to burn something so cute...
Well lets look at how many times I said acetic and acid up there....I'm not counting, but I'm gonna guess enough that you all came to the same conclusion that I did and acknowledge that this, my dear friends, is a form of acid. Acid burns. Undiluted vinegar (apple cider, malt, white or whichever else you fancy) can cause damage to the esophagus and digestive tract. It can also wear away at tooth enamel and lower your potassium levels which interferes with bone density. Lastly while there is some proof to the studies, it's not stating that any of the weight loss is impressive. Comparably, it ranks right up there with someone who increases their exercises levels slightly and adjust their eating habits to a more healthy, Canada's food guide kinda diet...EVERY site I searched summed it up in basically the same way. If you are going to use it, use it as a supplement only in an already established regime of sustainable healthy diet and exercises.

In conclusion:

There does seem to be some health benefits to it and since I don't plan on drinking it undiluted, I am not overly concerned about my esophagus, therefore I am considering adding it to my regime....maybe....I don't know that I will be going with the apple cider vinegar though because I cannot stress enough how gawd-durn bad that stuff smells. It's like feet....seriously. And unfortunately the only sites that promoted vinegar therapy in pill form were the sites trying to sell it. All other health food sites and alternative medicine sites said the same thing. The pills were ineffective and didn't contain the necessary active components, therefore were just a big waste of your hard earned money. There really is no easy way out is there? If I decide to (and can stomach) the apple cider vinegar diet which consist of 2 to 3 tsp before each meal, I will let you know and then we can all follow together to see if it helps me.
Look, it's me, being helped by vinegar...yay me!!!

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

It's a twofer today....Damn Damn damn

So its weigh in day....damnit. I knew my weekend wasnt beneficial but damn it's depressing when you dont see results. Especially for all the other days that you did try and do what u are supposed to....this will be a short one since my Plexus Slim review took up most of my And I am now depressed so I don't wanna be entertaining anymore. My only consolation is that I am pmsing and perhaps bloating....sigh.
weight. -.5lbs for a total after 4 weeks of 6.5 (blah)
chest +.5inches (thats your fault pms)
stomach: no change
hips: -.5inches
ass: no change
thighs: no change
 Damn damn damn. Oh well, lesson hopefully learned. Except for the fact that it's easter weekend and we have a "girls night in" scheduled and family coming to visit and easter supper.....look for gains next week folks....but I am gonna try my damndest to make sure that doesnt happen. Happy Easter Weekend all.

The Pink Drink Phenom

So everybody in the world (and by the world I mean my world and by my world I mean facebook....lets cut the crap) is talking about this new weightloss miracle "Plexus Slim" or "the pink drink" (which is not, to the chagrin of a friend of mine, Pepto Bismol).

 From the website Plexus Slim is "an all natural way to lose weight" by adding one "stick to a bottle of water, shake and drink." The page also claims to "help keep blood sugar and cholesterol down."

When used as part of a daily hydration regimen (1 stick pack per day), Plexus Slim promotes:
  • Loss of weight and inches by burning fat, not muscle
  • Healthy blood sugar levels
  • Healthy cholesterol and lipid levels
  • Healthy will power over food choices
  • Free radical scavenging (reduces oxidative stress)
Plexus Slim is:
  • Safe, non-stimulatory and non-thermogenic
  • Diabetic friendly

Oh and by the way, if you like it that much, you can become an "ambassador"(i.e. salesperson) and earn money while you lose weight."
Now, I consider myself fairly open minded. Having said that, I am also not interested in investing time, money (quite a fair chunk might I add) and my health into something based on a few testimonials from people who just started it. Soooooo I did my there is alot big words out there....and then I dumbed it down so I could understand it. This is what I it's learned..this will also be a long one grab a coffee and come back if you'd like....I'll wait. Lastly, if you want to just skip to the bottom, I break it down fairly quick in the conclusion. But don't be so damn lazy, just read it.....GAWD!


Raise your hand if you understand more than 2 of those words....anyone? Yup, me either. So let's dumb it down

POLYDEXTROSE: Polydextrose is an indigestible synthetic polymer of glucose. Basically it's a man made sugar substitue that is high in fiber. Being high in fiber it can help....ummmm....clear things out. (make ya poop)
CITRIC ACID: It is a natural preservative/conservative and is also used to add an acidic, or sour, taste to foods and soft drinks. Probably used in this to give it flavor...also does contain the same properties as lemon juice, so it's safe to assume there is vitamin c in there.
NATURAL FLAVORS; Beware of natural flavors. I found this awesome quote "Natural flavor is a man-made additive, and it makes processed food and fast food taste outstanding. It’s not the only additive that flavors our (processed and fast) food, but it sure does a great job. So-called natural flavor is produced in laboratories to give flavor to processed foods that lose almost all flavor through the processes of freezing, dehydrating, and canning. It is made from infinitesimal amounts of chemicals, or more so a collection of gases." Aint nothin natural about that. Also for the record, castoreum is a natural comes from the beavers sex gland....chew on that for awhile. Beaver sex flavor....yummy.
BEET ROOT & GRAPE SKIN EXTRACT: I searched around and found some proof that grape skin is somewhat of an antioxidant, but when they combine the two the way they did in the list, it is more likely that they are in there as a natural food coloring. No weight loss effects that I can find. It's what makes the pink drink pink.
STEVIA EXTRACT: This is another all natural sweetner that has been touch and go with health canada. There is no proven side effect, good or bad, in using this. There is also no proven or even suggested weight loss applications for this except that it makes things taste sweeter, therefore more delicious, without using sugar.
LO HAN EXTRACT: Thank god this is not an additive extracted from Lindsay Lohan....though that might help with weight loss....i hear crack is a great deterrant from eating and lord knows that girls blood is laced with something....oh snap, did I go there? Yes I did. But no really, it's another sweetner. This time from a fruit as opposed to a plant like stevia, but other than that, nothing healthy or weightlossy (shut up that's a word) about it.
CHLOROGENIC ACID: "Chlorogenic acid, an ester of caffeic acid and quinic acid, is a major phenolic compound in coffee, but is also found widespread in plants and can be isolated from the leaves and fruit. This compound, long known as an antioxidant, also slows the release of glucose into the bloodstream after a meal. "(source . So this would be an natural antioxidant which is good for cleaning up the blood stream and such which I am assuming is why this was first being studied as a drink to assist in diabetes. So this is good stuff....unfortunately its lower on the list of ingredients which means it is a smaller amount then everything above it.
CITRIN K : This compound has been associated with gradual decrease in body fat, nutritionally supporting healthy cholesterol levels, and suppressing hunger cravings frequently. Thats a quote from another weightloss supplement site
you dont need to go there or anything, i just dont want any copyright So thats the good stuff. However after looking into it, i saw some scary stuff about how it was linked to liver damage and muscle damage, as well a couple of sites suggested that putting green tea in instead would have the same results with out the negative side effects.
ALPHA LIPOIC ACID: Out of all the ingredients listed this one impressed me the most...unfortunate that it is so far down on the list...according to wikipedia this acid has the potential too:
Prevent organ dysfunction (take that citrin k), treat or prevent cardiovascular disease, reduce inflammation, prevent or slow Alzheimers, prevent erectile dysfunction (active component in the little blue pill maybe?) and a bunch of other beneficial stuff. It is essentially an antioxidant.
OXYPREGNANE STEROIDAL GLYCOSIDE: Back to the liver damage....this is the active component in the Hoodia cactus which is widely sold as a proven appetite also caused liver failure and damage to animals...though apparently it was injected into thier brains. So whatever you do, don't do that. It's also stated that it has a low bioavailability score and high elimination rate which basically means your body doesn't asorb this well and therefore you poop and pee most the good stuff out.
CHROMIUM: For those of you who watched Erin Brokivich, don't worry...we aren't talking (I seriously seriously hope) about the toxic stuff in the water ( I hope). We are talking about the mineral that all humans require in trace amounts that has been linked to weight loss and increaseing lean muscle mass. And diabetes control btw. However (theres that word again)  a recent review of 24 studies that examined the effects chromium on body mass or composition found no significant benefits. Another study done found some weightloss benefits, but they were so slight that the results were arguable at best and the study was uncontrolled.
So here is what I am gathering. We have a drink that has lots of sweetners and colorers (is that a word) that are all quite natural, but non-beneficial to weight loss. We have some minerals and acids that have positive anti oxidant effects, and as far as that goes you certainly arent hurting anything and in fact are helping some things, but not neccessarily weightloss . The one or two things that have any effective weightloss componentshad further studies done either debunking the theories/studies, or showing some potentially dangerous side effects. Lastly, you will be paying out the nose for this. From the Plexus slim website, here is the summery chart of thier most recent trial.

I was actually thinking that this was pretty positive until i looked at the dates. The final total was after 5 mths. If in 5 mths I only lost 5 or 10 or even 16 lbs i think I would cry...alot. In 30 days I have lost more weight than 75% of these "patients" by what? That's right folks, healthy diet and moderate excercise. I also love the loss of fatty inches many inches, which fatty areas? No specifics, just Yep....they sure did. This chart actual angered me....

So in conclusion, I will not be partaking in the expensive "Pink Drink" because from what I have personally researched, I see absolutely no benefits other than the same ones I can recieve by following Canada 's Food Guide and excercising 30 min a day at least 3 (i do 5) times a week and a glass of green tea and some lemon water. And seriously, I think my liver has taken enough damage, i don't think i should be beating on it any more. Don't get me wrong my friends, if it works for you, then by all means go for it. Just don't expect any miracle results, realize that this is a temporary assistance and if you don't change your habits, you will gain it all back again anyway, and consult your doctor. Some of these ingredients interfere with some prescription drugs. Thanks for your time and hopefully Plexus Slim doesn't sue me. Also I would love any comments, good or bad about your experience with it. Let me know if it worked, how it worked, if it sucked, and how it sucked. It's great to have comparrisons out there.

Monday, April 2, 2012

PMS plus rejection = major lack of self control

It knew I would be waited, bidding its time
Forgive me blog readers for I have sinned. It has been a few days since my last confession (post) and i have not been a good girl. It all started on Friday with my  girls night out. I avoided the wine and instead bought lo calorie coolers (ps i didn't realize that 100 calories meant low cal....i shoulda just stuck with the damn wine) and was a really good girl for the whole day....and in my defense i did some MAJOR dancing for about 2 hours straight....sweat buckets more than I did with any of my workouts. However, once out and about I OVER indulged on the drinks (vodka and cranberry, while sounding like the lesser of the evils and the healthier choice is soooooo not btw. However with the ammt I consumed I should be bladder infection free for some time.) Also, once I got home I found a block of cheese and some Melba toast.....i am so ashamed.

And the insanity didn`t stop there. The following evening my inhibitions again took a back seat when it was cuddle movie night with just me and the kids. The alcohol was absent (obviously, give me a little credit) but the chips and popcorn were ever so present....i couldn't say no.....they were right there, taunting me, saying `` Jessica, you know you want us....look at us, we are so delicious, mix us with the popcorn for a new delicious taste sensation``....damn you to hell sweet chili heat Doritos, damn you to hell.

Like this but with less fur

And finally, last night. Man I was so mad at myself for the junky weekend that I was super good, calorie counting like a mofo, all on track to exercise...then I got called into work early....and then I got the bad news. I had auditioned for dinner theatre and was pretty pumped until I checked my fbook and saw the message from the director....``you were great but we don`t have a spot for you....wish we did....come back in September``......le sob. Did I mention I am pmsing? So that was that, I requested my husband prepare a bath and a bottle of wine for me when i arrived home from work. I got there, ate a delicious stir fry at 930 at night, drank half a bottle of wine and went to bed licking my wounded ego all the way.

So that's my confession guys. Feel free to offer me up some sort of penance...but go easy on me....I'm still fragile.
This is what popped up when you google penance....don't make me do that

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

I dont understand this weightloss thing or Slow and Steady wins the...

Buzzzzz.....nah that's not the sound either
Okay okay i've been pretty good this week,especially with the food, not as much with the hardcore excercise but still...i'm being consistant (ish) and people keep saying you may not see pounds lost but you will see inches.....beeennnnhhhh (that was the sound of a buzzer by the way) wrong. It's that time again so i hopped (stepped gingerly) on the scale and peeked through my fingers which were covering my eyes at the scale...and then smiled and sighed with relief. Then I brought out the measuring tape, compared notes and promptly called my mommy to whine.....i dont get my body. It's looking better, feeling smaller and tighter  but.....

So anyway, the results for the week are as follows:
Weight: -2lbs (whoo hoo) for a total of  6lbs in 3 weeks. Respecatable yes?
Arms....maybe .5 an inch since the's hard to tell because my tape measurer sucks
chest: nada (whoo hoo...maybe i'll get to keep them!!!)
stomach -.5 for a total of 3inches in 3 weeks
hips: -.5 for a whopping 1.5...boooooooooo uuuuuurrrrrnnnnnns
ass: -.5....see above
thighs:-1 for a total of 3.5.....someday maybe i will see the light of day through them.....maybe.
I am not "disappointed" per se...but c'mon with me...I am being so much better to you, why cant we just get along.....sigh. Alright, back to the regime....slow and steady wins...something. I forget. Oh right, the carrots. Slow and steady wins the carrots.

Monday, March 26, 2012

What the hell is that? or My first ab muscle.

Whoo hoo, look at that blubber fly...
So i was staring at myself in the mirror this morning when i noticed this little indent in the keg I call a stomach....i poked at it a little and twisted this way and that examining it in different lighting, at which point i discovered that there was one on the other side as well. After some long thinking, more poking and a few seconds of denial I made an amazing realization. This my friends, was a stomach muscle.....that's right, my STOMACH. I promptly did a little hip shaking dance which made my precious muscle disappear and jiggling to occur where jiggling is not supposed to occur (jello jiggles, thighs should not) so I stopped the dance and stared some more. After 2 and a half weeks of steady (ish) excercising and eating healthy (ish) and limiting my alcohol intake (ish) I have grown a muscle....or possibly burnt enough fat to allow the already there muscle to peak through. HUZZAH!!!!! Diet and excercise works.

So this is a little bit of a slower process than I had hoped. I mean, I am fairly realistic and knew that it certainly didnt take me 2 and a half weeks of over indulging to get this body, it's definitly gonna take longer to get rid of it, but isnt there always that little part of you that says...."hey, maybe I'll be the "results are not typical" girl on the commercials that loses like 40 lbs in 6 weeks and looks hot on TV." Alas, I am not that girl, but I am encouraged by any results because in all frank honesty, I am not working that hard and I am not denying myself that much...(wine twice a week should not a major sacrifice be). I am slowly changing my lifestyle and habits into something sustainable that will allow me to be the mom who plays tag, and goes on bike rides and teaches her kids to do cartwheels ( i can stll do a cartwheel by the's pretty impressive, not gonna lie). So with that one little muscle, I am further encouraged to keep on keeping on. Hopefully after another 2 and a half weeks I will feel comfortable enough to post pictures of my newly discovered abs....until then, you get this...

Not my goal.....

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Atonement or A Whopper with cheese has 670 calories apparently

Thats right, 670
Damn damn double damn....i was weak very weak. I started off strong this week pleased with last weeks results and wanting to keep the momentum going....I did my workouts, I avoided the wine and income taxes came in. Da Da DUM! On top of that, March Break happened. So not only did my excercise regime take a BIG fat doodie (haha, i said doodie) but any semblence of healthy eating went right out the window....Well this is not totally true. I was mostly good most days....but I forgot water because coffee and diet coke tasted better and i "forgot" that wine is bad bad bad in large quanities AND I forgot that anything called a Whopper, is probably not on the approved list of healthy supper alternatives. So my results today are disappointing, I'll get to them in a minute, and while I HATE the fact that I caved, I LOVE the fact that I am almost instanly shown the error of my ways....on my thighs. So here it is.

Weight: -.5lbs for a total of 4lbs lost so far
Standing on your tiptoes doesnt help....I tried
Chest: 0 for a total of 2 inches lost (that one I was ok with)
stomach: -1.5 inch for a total of 2.5 so far
Hips: -1 inch for a total of 1 inch (whoohoo, about damn time)
Tushy: -1 inch for a total of 2 so far

Now I know there are some of you saying, geez jess, at least theres no gains and all that positive cra....stuff, but the problem(s) is(are) this:
#1 I checked myself 2 days ago and I was down 2 more lbs...then i checked yesterday and i was back up one and then today back up another one...and yes I check at the same time every day and I actually check twice a day....i'm a little neurotic, what can I say. So I should have been down more pounds but I gave into temptation.
#2 It's only been 2 weeks and already I cracked under the pressure....numerous times even. It's one thing to have a slip up. It's entirely another to have a 2 day binge of slip ups.
#3 I really want these thighs gone and after such a kick ass start I was looking so forward to seeing that number change, but it hasn't because I done got lazy.

So having said all that, I am back on track. Mommas gonna get her sweat on and next week I intend to see some major results. You can count on it.

Hey look, it's a smiling dog.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Constant cravings or It turned out to be a piece of foil.

UUGGGHHHH....having a craving day. You know those days where you don't know what you want but you just want SOMETHING. I honestly cannot put my finger on it but I can tell you all the things that are peaking my interest and make me say..."hmmmmm, that might be it...maybe I should have that." I can also tell you that not one of them are on my "allowable" snacks or "acceptable" activity.( ps by acceptable activity I mean I am craving a cigerette even though I quit smoking [full] over a year ago and therefore this is not an acceptable activity. I am also craving me some wine. Not a glass of wine to sip on, I mean I am craving an honest to goodness bottle of wine to sink into "ahhhhhhhh" with. Also not an acceptable activity nor an allowable snack. Lastly, I am craving either a chocolate bar (which is pretty weird since I generally do not eat chocolate bars even before this last week) or the biggest most delicously cheesy plate of nachos you ever did see. WTF? Why? Why tonight is it suddenly so damn hard to just say no? It's not a cheat day, I havn't been lazy today and there is nothing overly stressful or exhausting about today. Why am I suddenly craving the bad stuff so bad its actually making me antsy and distracted. Ooooh look something shiny.....what is that, a nickel? No....i think it's a button. SEE!
 Thank GAWDS I smartly removed all temptation from the house. There is no nachos or chocolate, there is no delicious red wine or cigerettes. Luckily white wine is not holding any kind of appeal to me as I have literally over a dozen bottles of homemade white wine sitting down the hall from me as we I type. This leads me again to the conclusion that I am not an alcoholic, I am purely a does one spell it even a proper, i did it again.

 I think this is where it starts to get harder because while there is some small results happening, there is quite literally no end in sight. I am apparently going to have to keep this up indefinitely . I am also realizing that since my wine theory (i.e. it's making me fat) is apparently a pretty solid theory, then if i wish to remain my goal wait once I get there, I am going to have to keep this up forever....ok now I want to give up and be fluffy....stupid blog, why cant you talk back...give me some advice.....or chocolate....oh wait I think that is a nickel......eff it, I'm going to bed before I do something stupid.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Happy St. Patty's Day....or Does drinking Diet Mountain Dew count as being festive?

So it's been a few ya'll though I fell off the wagon and gave up. Well piss on you, cuz I did no such a thing. I am very much wagoning away. I am discovering however that all you healthy excercise type people are a bunch of lying buggers. Here, in no particular order, are the lies I have been told by dieters/excercisers/lying buggers.
#1. It gets easier with time. NUH UH! I know its only been a week and a half but guess what people....I still wanna kick Carmen Electra in her well sculpted ass each and every time she leads my work out....IT STILL HURTS. and burns. and makes me quiver. If it gets better after weeks and weeks of doing it THEN SAY THAT. Don't lead me to believe that after the first time it doesn't hurt. That is only true in certain situations (wink) excercise is not one of them.
#2. You will start to love it. LIE! I hate it. I hate working out, i hate watching what I eat and I hate sore muscles for three days after doing squats. There is not one thing I love about what I am doing to myself right now.
#3 You will feel AMAZING and ENERGIZED. If by amazing you mean tired and sore and sweaty, your soooooo right. I feel A-EFFIN-MAZING. Amzingly tired and sore and sweaty.Donairs from A1 are amazing...bubble baths accompanied by wine with no kids at the door is amazing....Grown up time with my husband is amazing....the way I feel after working out is not similar to any of these.....well maybe the last one....anyway, moving on.
#4Healthy food is DELICIOUS! Okay, this is a partial truth at best. Yes, a nice juicy piece of fruit, or a really well made salad can be quite tasty. But put either of those things next to a piece of cheese cake or a plate of nachos....I aint picking lettuce outta my teeth in 5 min...i'm asking for more sour cream and salsa. Junky food just taste better. The higher the calories, the more dewishus it is. Deal with it and don't kid yourself.

There is more but I feel like I am sounding terribly angry and bitter....and that would be because I am. But I am still doing it. And I am doing it for the simple fact that the benefits outweight the downfalls. When I can look in the mirror and love (hell I will accept like) the thighs/butt/gut/arms I see and I can run after the kids in the yard without gasping and taking a break every 30 seconds, then the sore muscles, the lack of delicious nachos and the time consumingness (it's a word, shut up) of all this will be worth it.....and if it is not, well A1 better get ready for me because I will be making up for lost time with a vengence.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

The proof is in the week down....10 more to go

Drumroll please, the results are in. It has been one full week of my weightloss excusion and its time to measure up. I had a few people ask what exactly I was doing to lose weight/inches/gasping breaths on stairs and one friend told me I had to list in point form from now on so....
I have:
-stopped drinking wine nightly. I drank wine twice this week, white wine last saturday and red wine on monday for my monday night ritual. It was delicious both times....
-reduced my calorie intake to an approximate 1200-1500 on my good days and not so much on my cheat day. These calories by the way are consisting of much more veggies and fruits and much less carbs though i am still having carbs, i just try to make them whole grain as opposed to bleachy whites.
This also means cheese has taken a major back seat...that one hurt the most I promise you.
-I have committed to at least 30 mins of hardcore excercise (yoga, zumba and stripaerobics to be exact) at least 5 times a week and not allowed myself the excuse of "hey i'm a waitress, I walk constantly" cuz apparently that aint working so much.
-I have literally tripled if not quadrupled my water intake.
-lastly I have made myself accountable for my actions with this blog and by informing my husband and my besties of my plans and my goal. That way thier judging eyes will guilt me into good behavior. I'm joking everyone has been mucho supportive and not at all judgy.

So with the all the above, the results after one week are as follows:
Weight lost :3.5lbs (woot woot)
Inches lost:6.5 (huzzah) 2 from my boobs (d'oh) 1 from my waist (whoohoo) none from my hips (sigh) 1 from my ass (see ya in hell) and most impressive 2.5 from my thigh...i checked that one twice...guess the painful stair climbimg is worth it ay wha?

So yay me! If it aint brok dont fix it so I will continue on my merry way with what appears to be a very sustainable program and hopefully each week we shall see the same kind of results....except you and i have some work to do.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Blame it on the a a a a alcohol

Oy....thats what i have to say....oy. Last night was my weekly ritual of indulgence with my bestie where we drink a decent sum of wine and then she leaves and I drink another decent amount and usually fall asleep way too late considering I work in the morning. Last night differed not at all and while I was actually in ok shape this morning for work, I have NOT been able to get motivated to do anything...except watch 4 episodes back to back of Degrassi High (yup that happened for real). It doesnt help that my Carmen Electra evil leg work out yesterday has made it hard to sit down am I to keep my momentum up if every time i do a good workout, i cant move the next I am however encouraged that while i gave into the snacking urges last night, which I blame solely on the wine, i was fairly well behaved sticking to celery and cheese whiz and rice cakes. Tonight...can I just say no to birthday cake....probably not. Looks like me and my sore a** legs will have a date with the eliptical....sigh. I have included a picture of carmen electras stomach purely for motivational purposes.

Monday, March 12, 2012

Carmen Electra can bite me...or...The reason you hear weeping when i do stairs today.

So I was lazy yesterday (hey, it was the day of rest and all) and did not actually workout (because apparently running my ass of for 7 hrs as a waitress has done nothing beneficial for my health or figure) so I decided to up the ante today and try "Carmen Electras Fit to Strip". For those of you who are unfamiliar with Carmen and her Stripaerobics, what you have here is smokin hot Carmen Electra teaching you how to dance like a stripper...(ps, i do not look like a stripper when i dance....well possibly an aging stripper with bad knees and a c-section scar, but for those of you who have been to Angies in Moncton, that is about the norm) Anyway I digress, the workout i ATTEMPTED today is Disc 2-Fit to Strip....this is the video designed to GET YOUR BODY READY TO STRIP....and apparently by "get your body ready" they actually mean make your legs and arms so weak that you cant even take your pants off to pee let alone in a sexy way...(doesnt everybody try to pee in a sexy way...? This video is KILLER. Even the poor instructor had to towel off. I feel that this coupled with my jelly legs and arms and need to through darts at pictures of Carmen Electra means that this work out is prbly going to get results. So I will be adding this to my regime lest I get too bored it my daily torture....It does get better some point I am going to stop begging for death in the middle of my workout.....right?.....Please? At any rate, i need to see results soon because its getting harder and harder to talk myself out of buying a block of cheese and a bottle of wine and saying "F**k it....I like being fluffy."

Saturday, March 10, 2012

A&W veggie burgers are NOT just like the real thing....

Worst sleep EVER last night...those kinda nights are going to be the ones where just saying no is gonna be the hardest, nothing helps me relax (pass out) like a glass or two of wine and some brain candy tv....sigh. I did make an interesting discovery however...actually I made a few. Number one discovery was that white wine has half the calories of red wine (cha ching) and number two, the scale states that i lost 2.5 lbs...i know, i cheated, it was supposed to be weekly weigh ins but i wanted to I've peeked every day at the same time and noticed a definite decrease...even after I had a nasty meal at A&W....I couldn't help's new in town and thier onion rings are so damn good. But that was a slight indulgence and I promise to be good again...every body needs a little treat. I am encouraged by the numbers on the scales though. The tape measurements will be another story i'm sure....

Friday, March 9, 2012

so far so good

On day three of my winelessness...(shut up thats a word) i am feeling fine. The night tremors have slowed considerably and the cold sweats are becoming something I can cope with....ok fine its not that fact i have noticed very little difference in anything. This leads me to two conclusions. #1 I am not the alcoholic i feared i might be (yay) and #2 this is not a quick fix. I am going to have to keep this up longer than 3 days (boourns).oh well at least I made it two days...usually by now i have been distracted by someyhing shiny and downed 2 glasses of eaglehawk shiraz. ..lets celebrate the baby steps for i right?

Thursday, March 8, 2012


I have established two things on day 2 of my weight loss journey. #1 Excercise and diet sucks. #2 I need to be accountable for my actions and I work better if i am telling the world what I am supposed to be doing. I'm sure it stems from my constant need for affection and acceptance, but whatever it is, i decided a public blog might best be the way for me to stay on track.
So here is my game plan thus far.
5 days a week I will be working out (alternating Zumba with Yoga meltdown)
I will be cutting cheese (sob) mostly from my diet. I cant take it all out...i just cant. I have however switched to 1% cottage cheese for SOME calcium in my diet.
I have bought a pretty new smoothie/waterglass because apparently I only like water from a straw...whatever that means...and I am now drinking water like it's .....well water.
I will be weighing and measuring myself once a week....wednesdays...and recording my losses and gains on here. If i lose enough I may get brave enough to record my starting numbers and picture...but for right now...I am sooooo not that brave.
And the biggie, I am removing wine from my nightly rituals....waaaahhhhhh.
I love me a glass (or 2 or 3 or....well u get it) of red wine at night after the kiddies are asleep and me and hubby are cozying or Facebook games are calling my name....or soaking in a hot bath....ahhhh. Anyway where was I? Oh yes, I love all these wine moments, but it appears I love them a little too 30-40lbs too much. So I say buh bye to my nightcap and am replacing it with chamomille tea...totally the same thing really....and if i tell myself that enough I may start to believe it .....HA! I will still indulge occasionally, but only if I have been a good girl all week and in better moderation (i.e. one does not need 3/4 of a bottle of wine to relax...this is how alcoholism starts. And don't tell me the french do it...i dont need excuses.)
I am going to try this for one month and see what kind of results I get. Ifthis does not help then it's drastic measures time....thats right...I will have to go to the gym. So wish me luck and watch me shrink!
Dear Red Wine,
I'm breaking up with you. Please dont take this personally, it's not you , but more what you do to ME. Since we have become exclusive, i have become lethargic, gained weight and lost all my motivation. I am not the person I want to be and I feel that I can only change that by distancing myself from you.
Don't get me wrong, we can absolutely still be friends. I will still see you each Monday night like always when you and I get together with Sarah. Not to mention special occasions and outing with friends. I still love you for who you are, I just cant be with you all the time.I need my space to grow on my own.
I hope you understand and realize that you are still wonderful and loved.I look forward to the next time we meet.