Saturday, March 17, 2012

Happy St. Patty's Day....or Does drinking Diet Mountain Dew count as being festive?

So it's been a few ya'll though I fell off the wagon and gave up. Well piss on you, cuz I did no such a thing. I am very much wagoning away. I am discovering however that all you healthy excercise type people are a bunch of lying buggers. Here, in no particular order, are the lies I have been told by dieters/excercisers/lying buggers.
#1. It gets easier with time. NUH UH! I know its only been a week and a half but guess what people....I still wanna kick Carmen Electra in her well sculpted ass each and every time she leads my work out....IT STILL HURTS. and burns. and makes me quiver. If it gets better after weeks and weeks of doing it THEN SAY THAT. Don't lead me to believe that after the first time it doesn't hurt. That is only true in certain situations (wink) excercise is not one of them.
#2. You will start to love it. LIE! I hate it. I hate working out, i hate watching what I eat and I hate sore muscles for three days after doing squats. There is not one thing I love about what I am doing to myself right now.
#3 You will feel AMAZING and ENERGIZED. If by amazing you mean tired and sore and sweaty, your soooooo right. I feel A-EFFIN-MAZING. Amzingly tired and sore and sweaty.Donairs from A1 are amazing...bubble baths accompanied by wine with no kids at the door is amazing....Grown up time with my husband is amazing....the way I feel after working out is not similar to any of these.....well maybe the last one....anyway, moving on.
#4Healthy food is DELICIOUS! Okay, this is a partial truth at best. Yes, a nice juicy piece of fruit, or a really well made salad can be quite tasty. But put either of those things next to a piece of cheese cake or a plate of nachos....I aint picking lettuce outta my teeth in 5 min...i'm asking for more sour cream and salsa. Junky food just taste better. The higher the calories, the more dewishus it is. Deal with it and don't kid yourself.

There is more but I feel like I am sounding terribly angry and bitter....and that would be because I am. But I am still doing it. And I am doing it for the simple fact that the benefits outweight the downfalls. When I can look in the mirror and love (hell I will accept like) the thighs/butt/gut/arms I see and I can run after the kids in the yard without gasping and taking a break every 30 seconds, then the sore muscles, the lack of delicious nachos and the time consumingness (it's a word, shut up) of all this will be worth it.....and if it is not, well A1 better get ready for me because I will be making up for lost time with a vengence.

No comments:

Post a Comment